We all believe that facebook is the safest social network out there, right? I mean everyone is able pick their friends knowing that strangers can’t see your profile and we trust that all our friends will respect our own profile.

What we don’t realize is that it’s the central harbor for bullies. Bullies feed off of fear and low self-esteem, especially when they’re insecure themselves. In the past, bullies would harass a person to their face, make comments, push them around. But with those kinds of comments and abuse, it could always be amended; it didn’t have to be permanent.

Today if you were to post a comment on facebook that you think is an innocent joke, it could cause a frenzy of comments. What you throw out there initially may start as something simple and innocent enough but others can always  add to it with more abusive, spiteful posts. This builds until you have hundreds of kids ganging up on just one.  If you ever wanted to take it back, you couldn’t.

What you post on the internet stays on the internet.  Just deleting a comment doesn’t mean that it is completely gone. It leaves a mark. Abusive comments spread like a disease on facebook and even if your innocent contribution is gone, someone else is already replacing it with something much more hateful.

Is it right to turn a whole group of people against one? No. Is it right to think that you can get away with it, that it’s not as serious since it wasn’t said to their face? No.

Cyber bullying has been a huge issue since the introduction of facebook, msn or any other site. What’s worse is that some of us turn into bullies without even knowing it, just for kicks. And once we start, we can’t go back.  What you type about someone is just as bad as what you say to them. But this time everyone can see your comments and read them and make comments of their own.

It’s dangerous.

Think before you type. 

- Laura

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." Have you ever heard this quote? In my thirteen years I have been around I have never heard a quote so incorrect as this one! When people go through life they are always going to receive an immature and rude comment from someone. I can almost assure you that those comments will stick with you forever. Whenever you're down, those comments like, "Oh your so ugly" or "You're so fat" will pop into your head.

Just recently a certain type of bullying has increased in the U.S. This type of bulling is cyberbullying; that is when someone is insulting you or threatening you through the technology we have today. For example through phones, facebook, twitter, aim, etc.! Cyberbullying is so dangerous that it can cause people to go into depression or even worse -- want to die!

My point is watch what you say to someone because they will always have to live through whatever mean thing was said.

To close this all up: Sticks and stones can hurt my bones but words can really hurt ME!

Some of us are innocent. Some of us are witnesses. Others of us are guilty.

Whether we like it or not, bullying has been a universal issue.  Whether we know it or not, each one of us has had a personal experience with bullying.

When I was around eight years old, my family moved to Switzerland and I went to a local French school. I had no idea how to speak French so, as you can imagine, it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. After a few weeks of getting to know my class, trying to communicate with them on some level, I started to feel a little more confident and comfortable with my new surroundings.

I don’t know how or when it started but I suddenly felt a lot of aggression and anger from two, older boys. It started off with just looks and snide comments that I didn’t really understand. But then it got worse. Eventually it got to a point where everywhere I turned, they were there pushing me to the floor, yelling at me to go home, go back to where I belong. It hurt a lot more psychologically then it did physically. Eventually I started to believe what they were saying. I started to feel like I was an outcast, that I didn’t belong there.

 I finally had the courage to tell my mom everything. My mom dealt with it just like any parent would, she told my teacher. Now my teacher had the most unorthodox way of working out a solution. She sat my entire class down and simply told them what happened to me. She didn’t expect anything from them, just made them aware.

Then the most memorable thing happened. When we were released for recess and the boys started to harass me, my entire class stood in front of me and forced them to back off. They stood up against them, yelling at them to leave me alone and they did! After that they never ever looked at me again.

I was a victim. I didn’t understand what I did to deserve it and still cant to this day. But no matter what, it’s important to speak up and speak out. Bullying will continue to exist if people don’t do anything about it. It helped me and it can definitely help you. Whether you are a victim or a witness, the best thing is to make others aware because they will give you the best kind of support. 

Laura 

If you have seen the video you will know I am Jaclyn, the one Maddie FaceTimed. Yes, I was bullied all of seventh grade; bullying is a very hurtful thing. There are two different types of bulling: physical and emotional! I was emotionally bullied, and sometimes that's the worst kind of bullying. I say this because, thirty years from now, I will always think how this one girl called me a loser, weird, or ugly; and how hurtful it was. Although I am not being bullied at the moment, I will always think: do I look okay, or am I really ugly? The only reason I would think those things is because of my seventh grade year. So if you are being bullied, or you are the bully, a solution needs to happen... NOW!

               “Smokeless does not mean harmless,” says former Major League catcher Joe Garagiola in reference to the hazards of smokeless tobacco. Smokeless tobacco is dreadfully addictive and causes issues regarding teeth staining, gum disease, and often cancer in those who frequently use these products. The term “smokeless tobacco” refers to any tobacco product that isn’t smoked but is segregated into subcategories such as loose-leaf tobacco (chew) and snuff (dip). The loose-leaf tobacco is sold in large pouches and consists of the long strands of sweetened tobacco leaves. The chewer puts a wad in between his teeth and cheek in the side of their mouth. Snuff, however, is not as sweet as loose-leaf and is sold in small, circular cans. Snuff is sold in different cutting styles like fine cut, long cut, and pouches, where fine cut tobacco is put in a small cloth pouch. The snuff nestles in the front of the lower lip against your teeth.

             Speaking as a southern baseball player and former Grizzly snuff user and Bowie chewing tobacco user, I know for a fact how intensely addicting snuff and loose-leaf tobacco is. I would go through about 4-6 Grizzly pouches a day and usually have one in during some classes at school. I would have to position the pouches in various areas of my mouth because the fiberglass used in smokeless tobacco would sever my gums to the point where it became painful to brush my teeth some days. If you were to accidentally swallow some of the dip juices, typically referring to new users of tobacco, you would feel extremely nauseous and light headed. There are methods and products out now that alleviate the difficulty of breaking this deeply damaging habit.

Personally I love going out with my friends. Because I live in the lively city of Hong Kong where going out is somewhat of an event. I had never been to a club before I moved here and if I’m being honest, I had never thought I would until the legal age. But when my friends first introduced me to the nightlife here, I was completely sold. Not because of the limitless alcohol available (especially on ladies night) but because of the atmosphere. It’s the one night where I can genuinely escape my life at school and at home, let it all out and just have fun!

Now I don’t drink. Well… not anymore. I used too. But after one particularly nasty night, I realized that I could have fun without the alcohol. Best thing about that? I’ll still be able to remember everything the morning after.

The night that really turned me off alcohol was New Years. It was the best night. I remember everything, especially what and how much I drank. But what I remember most is the look on my boyfriends face when he took me home.  Now he doesn’t drink alcohol. In fact he has never taken a sip, pledges that he never will and I have always respected him for that. He has never minded me drinking. But this one night seemed a little different. He explained to me that he was worried. Not because of how much I drank but because he was leaving for university soon and felt that leaving me with my friends would make me vulnerable. He believed that because all of my friends got as drunk as I did, no one would be able to look after me if it got to the point where I needed help. I took in what he said and genuinely thought it through. And he was right. It wasn’t safe. Having a bunch of drunken teenage kids wandering around the streets, not one of them sober, would leave us all at risk. A risk I was not willing to take. So just like that, I stopped. It wasn’t a hard decision because I knew it was a right one.

Now I’m not saying that everyone should stop drinking alcohol! I mean, to each his own but for me, I don’t need it and frankly I don’t want it. Yes, I still go out and I still have fun. And yes, without alcohol. But now my kind of successful night includes great music, awful dancing and few bottles of… water. 

- Laura 

Teen pregnancy has been increasingly apparent in schools all over the nation chiefly due to the average teenager's nonchalant mindset toward sexual intercourse, in my opinion. I live in Nassau County, Florida, which happens to be the county with the most teen pregnancies in Florida, according to recent statistics. It is evident that there are disconnects between the teens that need more information and guidance regarding responsible intercourse and the community leaders that should be more willing to offer guidance. Being part of the “Bible-Belt” in the South, authority figures such as principals, counselors and church leaders are sometimes ignorant about these issues because they want to imagine that all teenagers are waiting until marriage to have intercourse. These illusory perceptions hinder the teenagers’ reception of any useful information. The authority figures always contend “Teens do not need this information until they are out of high school and are more mature.” Obviously that is completely erroneous because, not only is teen pregnancy a problem all over the nation, Florida is ranked  6^th highest in rates of pregnancy in women aged 15-19 with 97 teen pregnancies out of 1000 teens (9.7% of teens being pregnant). It is clearly evident that we need more accessibility to more effective contraceptives, more information that isn’t heavily filtered by closed-minded community leaders, and better guidance regarding the issue. This is why In Search Of Me Café is vital to teenagers that want to seek sufficient guidance and information about these issues.

 

       -Connor

    The worst thing that could ever happen in a relationship is being abusive. Sometimes people are so head over heels for this person they don't realize that this person is not treating them properly.

    When someone says the word abusive what do you immediately think of? Punching and physical injuries; am I correct? Well I would think the same thing, but I know thats not just what abusiveness represents. Verbally fighting with someone to the point where they are emotionally hurt is considered abusive.

    Thankfully I have never been abused in any kind of way. Although just recently my best friend got in a huge fight with her boyfriend. He picked out every flaw about her, cursed her off, and anything verbally abusive you think of. He was so mean that it drove her to dumping him. Thank god nothing happened after the break up, he just let her be. Thankfully she was capable of figuring out she was abusive but others are not, which can lead to worse.

It is well-known that high school relationships carry a multitude of vices and virtues. These relationships are brimming with drama, infatuation, pressures, insecurities, impulses, and capricious judgments. However, they often bring happiness, contentment, and security to those who understand and respect the relationship and their partner. High school relationships also instruct important interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. The experience gained by these relationships can benefit your comprehension of yourself and future partners. In contrast, others might contend that most high school relationships end after graduation, therefore defeating the purpose of investing your time and energy into forming an intimate relationship. It is true that only 5-8% of high school relationships lead to a healthy marriage but that isn't a compelling reason to exclude yourself from the lessons and essential learning experiences of close relationships. The virtues of participating in wholesome relationships heavily prevail over the hurdles that you come across along the way.

 

                   -Connor Cottle

Regardless of the fact that adults are reading this and regardless of the fact that a lot of these bloggers seem to be younger or don't have a boyfriend and regardless of what people might think, I'm going to come right out and say it because I think it might help some of you. I've had sex. Now I'm not here to persuade you to sleep with someone but I'm not going to tell you it's a sin either. I just felt that a certain view point wasn't being written about.

The decision to have sex was a big one. I discussed it with my friends and my parents before I made the choice that was right for me. Of course, I did my research and I knew full well what I was doing and I made sure that it was the right person but in the end it all came down to what I wanted to do. The decision shouldn't be because all your friends are doing it or because you want to seem older or more mature or because you just want to get it over with or you want to defy your parents. If you want to have sex at all, you should do it for the right reasons. 

A close friend of mine has been raised thinking that you should wait until marriage. When I talked to him about my opinion on the matter, we argued a lot. Just because you don't see eye to eye with someone, doesn't make either of you wrong. Sex is a very personal and controversial subject, especially when it comes to teenagers. Don't let any one else influence your opinion. You should never be pressured into doing something you don't want to do, especially when it's such a big decision.  If you want to have sex, do it because it's the right choice for you and no one else (and be safe if you do do anything).

If you have any questions about my personal experiences or about my reasons behind choosing what I did, don't hesitate to ask.

-Kelsey